pretty girl.

song of the moment,
David Ryan Harris' Pretty Girl.
i've not heard of David Ryan Harris until a few days ago.
and i just fell in love with this song.
it's so sweet and shizz.

and every song i love,
i make a cover.
attempt to anyway.
i've got two up in youtube..
but i don't think it's good enough.
which is why my throat's pretty dry right now.

i have to stop looping that song before it gets old.

who are you, stranger?

it never quite occured to him how much he had just hurt her, simply by not being himself. it was probably fun, the first day or two, or maybe up to the end of the week. he recalled the moment he saw her that evening. she was simply stunning. who was he to go and approach her? well yes, he had the looks. he had the body. but she didn't know him like the others did. no way would she go anywhere near him if she knew. it was working. she fell for it. the charm. they kicked it off brilliantly. he was ecstatic. she was in love. at least she thought so. the person she was in love with, was non existant. he was too good to be true. it had to show someday. the charm would fade, the veil would be taken off, and she would see him. his true form. he was grateful it lasted as long as it did. it was like a story from one of those fables. but she found out. she thought she was smarter than that. she thought she was stronger than that. never in a million years would she have fallen for a trap like that. she broke down those walls. she let him through. she gave him everything. she loved him. now, she looked at him from across the room wondering to herself, "Who is this stranger?"

pew pew.

i am too postive to be doubtful.
too optimistic to be fearful.
too determined to be defeated.

it's in.

law: passed.

a whoopin fifty eight percent.
i could even afford to hand in an assingment worth thirty percent late,
and get a zero for it,
and ace the exam for the other seventy percent,
and still get a fifty eight.
hah.
i'm ecstatic.

really,
i am.

off to Birmingham we go!!!

behold.

see.
the issue.
i was spending 20 pounds a week..
just on phone credit alone.
that makes a good 80 pounds a month!
well i it was inevitable really,
since this was an international package,
giving me 2p per minute to call back home..
and texts are like 5p or something like that.
Talk Mobile is cool like that.
thing is.
as for local texts..
well.
20p per text.

that's not the worst of it.
my uni life is just beginning.
and already,
i've got four subjects in which i've got to do group projects and presentations.
and here i was thinking group work is always the best. so much fun.
like hell it is.
people tend to not cooperate.
people tend to sleep in whenever they can.
people tend to not do assignments.
what's worst of all.
i've got to lead this bunch of twats.
so.
i do the calling.
i do the setting up.
i do the dragging out of bed procedure.
hence,
80 quid a month.
logical yes?

for my efforts,
i thought i could get a little compensation.
say.. something like,
this.



i'm sorry. no no.
i meant,
this.

BEHOLD!!











i'm a
..shopaholic.

alright here's the deal.
if there wasn't a logical explanation for all this,
mom would kill.
like..
KILL.

i pay 40 quid a month.
that's basically already two times less than what i've been paying using prepaid.
what more..
i get that shiny little thing for free.
except the whole free thing is but a gimmick.
everyone knows that.
we just choose to look at it from another perspective.
perks and shizz.
500 texts per month,
1200 minutes talktime.
hell,
i could talk til my mouth runs dry.
oh.
and did i mention free internet on 3G?

see.
mom won't kill.
right?
RIGHT?

of hockey masks.

once again, Jason, you never fail to impress.
truly, you are the American Hero.
forget about ol' Cap, you'll dice him up.
don't you ever die on me!

food for thought.

the fried rice i made tonight was exceptionally good..
but kinda looks a little to much like dog food.

a random conversation in the kitchen just now.

"hey, where's your food?"

"back in the oven."

"what? is it not cremated enough already?"

ROFLMAO.

a familiar cycle.

you buy something. and somehow, spending big amounts of money and having new things made you high. so high, that there was a chemical reaction, a change, in the brain. you get your new thing. shiny and whatnot. you stare at it long enough, and then you go, "now what?" your big chelsea smile from ear to ear turns upside down, and then you crave for that feeling again. that feeling when you get that something new. something to add to that closet that's starting to look quite rather impressive. you tell yourself, "the CKs. the Armanis. the Guccis. the Ed Hardy collection. the IKEA home. yeah. i think i'm getting somewhere." you think you are. it becomes an endorphin, and it triggers your euphoria. your happy giddy self. better hope you're financially stable. you will want to achieve that same feeling. because if not, well, let's just say you're not going to be all that happy. depression. anxiety. all kinds of negative effects entail your lack of incoming novelties. people say they buy stuff to make themselves happy. keep telling yourself that. you're an addict and you know it.

flashback.

i remembered once upon a time, a while back, the three of them, the crazy bunch they were, they wanted to do something random. go somewhere. near the beach or something. grab something to eat. they called me up. they'd come pick me up. i asked my parents, and off i went to get ready. secretly, i couldn't resist. i just had to go. knowing that she was there. knowing that i'd get to see her. as i waited at the yard, i saw the clouds, though somehow, it just made the sunset even more brilliant. distant thunder. i found myself singing back to the clouds, 'rain, rain, go away, come again another day.. rain rain go away, let me see her and it'll be okay.' engine sounds. unique. hybrid car. cute. i smile as i see her, and the other two, the redhead and the yakuza, yelling at me to hurry up. he opened the passenger door at the back and slid in to let me in. i found it difficult to sit properly with his guitar in the middle of everything. i got a little woozy adjusting myself, as she gassed it along the coastal road, right by the beach and sunset. the guitar felt comfy in my hands. i played a tune. we talked. dissed each other. laughed and laughed. i passed the guitar over to him and noticed there was a huge crack at the underside of the guitar. pity. we sort of clicked. he played. i sang. dashboard confessional's hands down. soon after, our singing drowned out the radio. thought of trying out the impressive dessert at the restaurant by the port. he took his guitar out with him in an attempt of coolness. she let me take her handbag. .. .

the spirit of the age.

my heart was beating faster than a drum and bass beat as i sat there awaiting my turn. i wait.. as name after name were called out, and yet none were there. a little too chicken to stand up for the task? i wouldn't have missed this in a million years. this is.. like a drug. kinda. as nerve wrecking as standing in front of a hundred plus white people, presenting something in their own language, and being judged and commented on after that.. it's sort of like an alternative to a roller coaster ride. only this one, you get famous for pulling it off. hah.

she called my name as i muttered to myself, "oh shit." carried with me down the steps was a small sheet of paper. notes. hope for the best. expect the worst. laid it on a table next to me. looked up and stared back at them judging eyes.
"now. who here thinks he or she's religious, in every sense of the word?"

*dead silence.

*knees buckle up

*please don't shake. please.

"oh-kay.. that was disappointing. i was watching this movie, or documentary called Zeitgeist. i'm not quite sure if that's how you're supposed to say it. it's german.. and the less you hear me speak in german, the better. now i haven't quite finished the movie yet, but this one thing i know. it's sure as hell controversial. take for example, their take on religion. horus. you may know horus as a egyptian sun god, around 3000bc. you know that much. well. broadly speaking, the story of horus is as follows: he was born on the 25th of December of the virgin Isis Mary, his birth was accompanied by a star in the east, and upon his birth, he was adored by three kings. by twelve, he was already teaching in the temples. at thirty, he was baptized, and henceforth started his ministry. he had twelve disciples, and he performed miracles wherever he went. sadly enough, he was betrayed, and was crucified. he died. for three days at least. and yes, you guessed it, he was resurrected. sound familiar?"

*lots of heads bobbing about.

"that's right. Jesus Christ. now, the attributes of horus, no matter how original they may be, seem to actually permeate and shape the different cultures of the world as we know it, for different gods of the same, general, mythical structure. i'm not kidding. look at krishna of india. same thing. attis of greece. same thing. dionysus of greece. samething. mithra. yeah. now, interestingly enough, mithra's day of worship falls on.. sunday. but this applies to so many different gods if you actually study the facts. and yes. Jesus is one of them. that's what they think. what do you think? thanks for listening."

*applause. more applause.

nailed it.

soul searching.

everyone's got an enemy or two.
God says love your enemies.

you know you weren't born enemies. at the end of the day, you know it's just better to reconcile. but, what if you're scared. scared that things don't work out like how you plan it to be? scared that things just spin horribly out of control, and everything just heats up again?

i'm scared.

where ma buckit?

found a new site.





$49.95
american dollars.
equivalent to 32GBP.
equivalent to less than RM160.
free shipping.
omg.

no credit card.

SIGH.

shake, rattle and roll.

i've done this before, but i think it's going to be a lot different this time. monday morning, you're just two days away. public speaking. i've done it before. just, not like this. this, is plain intimidating. sure, this is just a demo trial period and only a minute long.. but like, they're going to record it. what more, in dvd format. oh, and did i mention, in front of a crowd of around hundred? ..hundred.. europeans. speaking their language. i pray they understand me. she said i could just say anything i wanted, talk about anything i wanted, your cat, your christmas holidays.. yada yada. now that's a pickle. the aim, is to make an impact, in less than a minute. i've got no topic. help me out here? my first thought was to go for tattoo art.. but that will definitely take more than a minute. music? hmm. do not fidget. i'm counting on my knees to not shake and tremble.

christmas..

came late this year. or last. however you want to put it. i thought i've already experienced snow in its fullness. boy was i wrong. and boy was it good to be wrong. day before yesterday, i woke up to another yet again, white, but wet day. the weather will really put you off, especially when it's wet, rainy and windy all the time. you feel like you won't want to go anywhere. you know, just stay in bed, or creep up and lean on the radiator, give it good hard jabs until it start working.

that was until later that morning i went for class that i was amazed. amazed at how i couldn't tell pavement from road. and that i was grateful for my trusty boots that kept me dry inside inches of snow. i crossed streets and buildings and saw tractors doing their thing, trying to dissolve the snow, and it seemed like the snow was winning. in class i looked out my window, and saw that there was no wind. snowflakes were falling slowly down like feathers. only, pure? i'm not even sure if that's the word for it. night came. snowmen popped up everywhere like mushrooms.







i tried to take a picture of a snowman.. much taller than i was.. but i got hit in the head. with a snowball. it hurt. SNOWBALL FIGHT.

anyways. i received a package yesterday. a box. computer box. from malaysia it says.



mom and dad promised to send me a few things so my chinese new year wouldn't suck so bad. yes. i complained a lot, i must admit. but hey, look at the end product!



loads of goodies, and not to mention, maggi. of MASSIVE PROPORTIONS. i bet, if i had instant noodles for breakfast and lunch and dinner, for the whole month, i'd still have leftovers. awesome.



aww. that blue part. it said, "Here's to you! The Just In Case Noodle Traveller - Here's to those who always pack noodles in the luggage. Just in case Japan runs out of sushi. Just in case Paris runs out of croissants. There's always a room for a carton of MAGGI mee in your luggage. Thanks to you, MAGGI is MAGGI." i almost cried. if i was back home, i'd say this was a con. a gimmick. not anymore.

i love you, Maggi.

oh. I love you too, mom and dad.

Mimpi Yang Sempurna - Peter Pan

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!



IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
I Just Wanna Fly - Sugar Ray

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Mary Jane - The Click Five (awesome.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Shaking - Sugarcult

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand (more like a deathwish this.)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Saturday Morning - The Eels

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Ain't Got A Lot Of Money - Slightly Stoopid

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Heels Over Head - Boys Like Girls

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Satisfaction - Fatboy Slim (indeed.)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
No Such Thing - John Mayer (my brain does tend to fail me often)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Same Jeans - The View (LOL)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sweet Child Of Mine - Guns N Roses

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Hey Mami - Fanny Pack (oh yes.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Zeplike - Slightly Stoopid (what does that even mean?)

WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
A Good Idea At The Time - OK Go

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Black Balloon - Goo Goo Dolls (it is a rather morbid event.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Punk Rock Princess - Something Corporate (cross dressing eh?)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Hold On - Stellar Kart (eh?)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Coffee Sop Soundtrack - All Time Low

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Weapon Of Choice - Fatboy Slim

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
White Shadows - Coldplay

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Mimpi Yang Sempurna - Peter Pan (awesomest title evarr!!)

the people i've tagged are either in me facebook, or xanga.

sigh. BIG BUCKIT OF SIGH.

sigh.
i am so down right now.
i really want this item that my best mate daniel
showed me this morning in zappos.com.
thing is..
it's in the US..
and like,
international shipping would require me to pay for international shipping fees.
$40 dollars for one item.
apart from the initial $90 for the shirt.
and what more,
i'm celibate.
wait. no.
i said earlier on that i won't shop.
for clothes.





pretty innit?
sigh.
damn you.
damn you cheekoh!

i got tehhhhaaaaagggeddddd.

Here are the rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 20 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 20 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you..

1. i'd kill for bigger eyes.

2. i wish i got my driver's license sooner.

3. i have an anger management problem.

4. i am a self declared, mom certified shoppaholic.

5. i have an issue with my weight.

6. i bring my phone in with me to the shower for the music.


7. i might go deaf by the time i'm fifty.

8. i get careless far too easy.

9. everyday is a bad hair day.

10. i love to decorate the place i live in. CONSTANTLY.

11. i adore dogs. i have three.

12. i adore cats as well. in fact, i love them so much that i don't own a single one.

13. music is my life.

14. i am,in general, shy and scared of the species called 'girl'.

15. i try not to talk back. most of the time i fail.

16. i want to do the thriller dance on my wedding night.

17. i think too much. that's why i blog.

18. i get headaches when i'm too excited.

19. a party starts at eight, but i'l be ready by five.

20. i have too much time on my hands.

i've already done this on facebook, so i won't bother tagging anyone.