Revival of the sunshine of the spotless mind.

This has nothing to do with the movie. Almost nothing. But everything about me screams "grown up". Bespoke suits, accomplished wardrobe, a law degree so close I can smell it. But if i'm not careful it may soon be a case of burning up as i'm drawing near to that star i was dying to grab hold of in the first place.

A pack of cheap, half eaten foie gras sits on my windowsill.

That says a lot about the current situation. I'm not one who's fond of keeping overnight food, but who is it that I have to impress? Apparently, no one at the moment. I'm not even bothered to take down the headphones just in case anyone knocks on the door. Know why? It's this thing that's going round. It's a disease of the mind. The solitude is driving me insane. Nobody enjoys being alone. Even misery loves company. Never has locking my door seemed so second nature.

The only thing is, I am surrounded by people. If you can see through this whole facade, it all just seems so temporary. Because I know that when the mask comes off, it's just me and these four white walls that stare back. They stare with that look. Even the walls have each other. That's right. I can always find company when i need it. The only thing is.

They're not you.

Happy New Year. What's so happy about it? You make resolutions. You keep none. It's just another day in the calendar. Do you honestly believe flipping a page over and yelling "CLEAN SLATE" will make it all good as new? Get real.


where's that light at the end of the tunnel?
where's my happy place?
i can't seem to find it.
not anymore.