yourenglishisverygood.

alright. now as the usuals know, i am currently in the hunt for, well, i am not ashamed to say it, pork. as it is the new year, we, chinese must eat pork. i don't know how vegetarians live with that. as a matter of fact, i've been wondering.. see, a muslim can't touch or eat pork. that's already a big loss. then what about a vegetarian muslim? that'll be.. whoa. sucks to be you mate.

back to my point. so. for the past week i've been going out with my mate to various places in this char siew-forsaken village and town to look for a decent or even not so decent chinese restaurant. anything really. we're getting desperate. we found this one half decent restaurant. that looks like it's about to close any day now. it's called yummy yummy restaurant. indeed. so. alan(my mate) and i, we decided to be food testers for the rest of the malaysian chinese community. we ordered delivery. we got this business card from their empty restaurant after we got tired of yelling "HELLOOO.. YAU MOU YAN AHHH?? YOU MEI YOU REN ZAI AHHH?" for a good half hour. they decided to not appear but were decent enough to leave the front door unlocked. we could've stole loads and loads of cutlery. we're good people. we only stole their business card. got home, and decided to give the number a try. they gave us two numbers. it said in chinese, 妻子, for wife.. and 丈 夫, for husband. hmm. now which one should we call? we thought if we called the wife the husband would get jealous and think we're getting to her or something and decide to kung pow our asses.. so we called the latter. nobody answered. called the wife then. the husband answered. whoa. this was probably a trap by the husband to see who was trying to get to his wife! freakin paranoid immigrant!
"hello? is this yummy yummy restaurant?"
"..y-yes."
"oh. good. hi. can i place an order please?"
"err.. har? 你能讲中文？

awesome. he didn't know a word of english besides yes. a little tip. maybe, learn the language if you want to do business here? i sorta knew chinese, so i thought we could communicate. he didn't understand a word i said. alan was on the floor laughing his ass off. so i gave him the phone and he tried. it didn't go down well. the wife took over.
"whatchu want?"
"oh hai."

i wanted to tell her her english was very good, but she might have took it as an insult, so i decided against it. half hour later, the husband arrived, and honestly, he didn't look any older than i did. i smacked him at the side of his head and went "what the hell you doing!?" no i didn't do that. we talked, most of the time with the aid of sign language, and he handed me this sheet of paper with another list of items and prices. said this was another menu altogether, meant for us... when he said us, he meant chinese people. now i was wondering what the hell was this take away food that we just ordered then. he said the food we just ordered was for ..guai lou. and that this other menu was waaay better than this. whoa. racist bastard! a man after my own heart! lol.

food was good. we thinks we're going there tonight. this morning however, i'm gonna go bai nian. a little early, i know, but if only you knew where. old trafford, the stadium of manchester united.